DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN STEAM VALVE...
... If Happy Fun Steam Valve begins to shoot burning hot steam at you close valve immediately before Happy Fun Boiler comes up through your floor to have a few words - words mostly beginning with, ending with, and consisting entirely of "HISSSSSSSSSS BABABABABABABABABABANG".
Uh, yeah - so anyway, the joys of a building older than I am - One of my convectors is cracked (so it makes a wonderful hissing-whistling-popping noise when I open the valve for it, and makes the apartment smell like rust from the steam blow-by). Also, the radiator in the bathroom has a busted valve seat (open the valve and there's steam blow-by with the attendant rusty smell, close it and you get a drip of water once every 10 minutes or so). Both bounced to building management to source me a plumber.
On the bright side I finally found a use for The Lost Art of Steam Heating and A Pocketful of Steam problems (with solutions) which I bought a while ago just because I'm a freakish little engineer-whore and like reading about systems design.
Stop laughing. You all suck.