... If Happy Fun Steam Valve begins to shoot burning hot steam at you close valve immediately before Happy Fun Boiler comes up through your floor to have a few words - words mostly beginning with, ending with, and consisting entirely of "HISSSSSSSSSS BABABABABABABABABABANG". Uh, yeah - so anyway, the joys of a building older than I am - One of my convectors is cracked (so it makes a wonderful hissing-whistling-popping noise when I open the valve for it, and makes the apartment smell like rust from the steam blow-by). Also, the radiator in the bathroom has a busted valve seat (open the valve and there's steam blow-by with the attendant rusty smell, close it and you get a drip of water once every 10 minutes or so). Both bounced to building management to source me a plumber. On the bright side I finally found a use for The Lost Art of Steam Heating and A Pocketful of Steam problems (with solutions) which I bought a while ago just because I'm a freakish little engineer-whore and like reading about systems design. Stop laughing. You all suck.