Capacitance is the measurement of the amount of electric charge stored (or separated) at a given electric potential. ... nope.
Capacitance is the difference between the charge of a given electrode and the ground state (in coulombs), divided by the voltage driving the original charge ... accurate but still nope.
Capacitance is what can vaporize screwdrivers, wrenches and other metallic objects, inducing glee and joy in all the good little boys and girls . . . Getting closer now...
Capacitance Fucking Hurts - Yes, that's what I was trying to say... also I can't feel my left hand, and "OW", and "Maybe that wasn't such a bright fucking idea Einstein?", "Maybe next time you'll CHECK the caps BEFORE playing with them?", "Maybe you're not immortal, and didn't this kinda shit already kill you once?", AW SHUT UP!
Damn stupid voices in my head -- this always happens when I zap myself. Anyway, public service announcement #1 for 2009:
Ladies, Gentlemen, and you over there in the corner with the strap-on and the falsies --
Please for the love of god wen you're showing off the magic of capacitance to your friends (or enemies) remember to short the really big juicy caps with a drain resistor BEFORE picking them up to put them away. Remember that such juicy caps can accumulate an unnatural charge from the very air around them, and will do so just to have the joy of biting you. And above all, remember that such bites REALLY FUCKING HURT!
This has been a public service announcement from your village idiot - we now return you to your regular idiocy, already in progress.
**Cut to C-SPAN**