That's really not what I've decided to spend my lunch hour talking about though: I want to talk about mental health in the context of mass violence. So if you want to hear about that go ahead and click through to the rest of this entry, otherwise move along on your merry way.
There is currently a hashtag on Twitter - #MaleProverbs - and I would like to take this opportunity to encourage everyone to read it, for it is indeed filled with great truth and stories of epic douchebaggery. If you recognize yourself in some of these tweets then take note, for you may in fact be a douchebag.
So, two interesting decisions came out of the US Supreme Court this term, and I'd like to take a few minutes to alternately crucify and defend Justice Salia. Those of you not interested are cordially invited to stop reading now.
Redirecting a deep desktop link to a mobile home page is BAD AND WRONG If I grab my iPhone and go to http://www.example.com/store/shinywidget I damn well want the page about shiny widgets.
Please don't redirect me to http://m.example.com/ with your crappy designed-for-a-mid-1990s-Blackberry "Mobile site" home page.
Corollary: If I'm using a modern smart phone don't EVER send me to your crappy designed-for-a-mid-1990s-Blackberry "Mobile site"!
Crippling your site and trying to force me to download your "Mobile App" is STUPID. Again, I'm using a modern smartphone. The web page looks great and loads fast.
Your app? It SUCKS. It takes 5 seconds to load (splash screens are the work of Satan), crashes all the time, and it's harder to navigate than the website. Plus I know my way around the website - I use it EVERY DAY on my desktop and I just want to check that one item quick on my phone.
Let's not make this hard, OK? (Every website out there that uses "TapTalk"? I'm looking at you right now and I'm NOT smiling.)
Giant interstitial ads make me not want to use your site anymore Scott called out Forbes on this (and they're a MAJOR offender - I cringe every time I want to read a Forbes article), but so many sites do this.
Corollary: Modal ads that pop up after 30 seconds are even worse!
Corollary: Interstitial or Modal ads that play obnoxious sounds merit the death penalty.
Only being able to click the checkbox, not the label? Why do you hate me?! Do some of these web developers know how small checboxes are on modern monitors? In Safari they're actually decent-sized, but the label is still so much bigger and easier to stick my mouse over and click on. (CMS and "web application in a box" vendors - If your form labels aren't clickable you best be fixing that shit!)
Breaking Links Is Bad Nuff said? Yeah - I think so too.
"Click the flag that represents your language"? How about you just auto-detect it you lazy shit. Seriously.
Corollary: GeoIP has been a thing for over a decade. Please don't make me tell you what country I'm in. (But DO let me override it if you get it wrong)
Using width and height to make the browser resize images is WRONG I'll allow a little fudge-factor here - you can scale down by 10% and I won't hate you.
If you're taking a 6 megapixel image and trying to scale it down to a 3-inch-by-3-inch box on your web page? No. Not acceptable. You can resize that on the server and not waste all my bandwidth, ThankYouVeryMuch.
By the way you're the one paying for this bandwidth - your users on consumer cable modems and FiOS can suck as much data as they want for a flat fee, but when you get featured on reddit and a million people are downloading that 4-meg JPEG image of your cat you better believe your ISP is gonna be charging you for all the extra transfer.